Month: July 2023

© Lee Serenethos

A very commonly used terms in our society, nowadays, gay or not gay is “coming out” that refers to disclose something that has been otherwise hidden. Dr. Jack Drescher, MD in 2004 already said the experience could be extremely dissociative for the individual “in the closet”. He said: … Coming out may be the most commonly shared cultural experience that defines the modern gay identity. Historically, the term was an ironic reference to debutantes “coming out into society” (Chauncey, 1994). In contemporary usage, “coming out of the closet” means telling another person that one is gay…Years spent in the closet can make the prospect of revealing oneself an emotionally charged experience. However, the process is not just about revealing oneself to others–in coming out, gay people integrate, as best they can, dissociated aspects of the self…” Many LGBT clients had expressed their relief after coming out and finding themselves able to live a life they could not live freely while “in-the-closet”. The University of Montreal published an article in 2013 supporting the health benefits of coming out. They found:…” Lesbians, gays and bisexuals (LGBs) who are out to others have lower stress hormone levels and fewer symptoms of anxiety, depression, and burnout, according to researchers. Cortisol is a stress hormone in our body. When chronically strained, cortisol contributes to the ‘wear and tear’ exerted on multiple biological systems…Contrary to our expectations, gay and bisexual men had lower depressive symptoms and allostatic load levels than heterosexual men. Lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals who were out to family and friends had lower levels of psychiatric symptoms and lower morning cortisol levels than those who were still in the closet…”

The study found that LGBT people who needs to ‘fight-for-life” and their rights develop better coping skills and strategies to deal with social stressors. Coming out is a major milestone in our lives as LGBT and sometimes supportive guidance through the process makes it easier and really meaningful.

The Association of Gay & Lesbian Psychiatrists stresses that coming out is a very individual process and that “… the therapist needs to become familiar with issues specific to being GLB, and in particular the issue of coming out. The assumption that GLB identities are normal need not lead to “cheer leading,” nor should the therapist encourage patients who are questioning their identities to come out prematurely or to simply reassure them that “it is ok to be gay.” Therapists can be most helpful if they have no agenda as to how patients resolve complex issues of identity, affiliation, and openness, and do not push for premature resolution in these areas… The process of coming out is complex and can take years. The process is not linear. In therapy, there can be times of great movement and change interspersed with long, seemingly quiescent periods. Therapists need to be patient, respectful and open to many possible end points – including a straight identity, a gay or lesbian identity, bisexual experiences and identity, or even the patient’s rejection of a traditional identity label altogether…” (Read more)

Lately, in the New York Time, Elizabeth Keranen wrote ‘We Are Never Going Back to the Closet Darkness’ emphasizing the LGBTQ community now has many, many straight allies, and no matter the critics and attacks from religious groups and extreme right activists and followers, they are never going back to the closet darkness. A perspective bringing a new reality where “many Americans are finally moving from condemnation to acceptance.”

Despite of progress, openness towards LGBTQ people, respecting the client’s tempo and examining his societal circumstances (family, workplace, profession), relationships, clinical stance, and psychological assets and challenges need to be part of the coming-out assessment to guide the process towards the client wants to guide it at her/his own pace. Remember one size does not fit all and what suits one client can be very risky and detrimental to other person’s reality and life experience. Supportive? Yes, Overbearing? Never.