Doris Bersing, PhD
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LGBTQ+ community and Pope Francis’ Blessings

“A rainbow shines over St.Peter’s Square at the Vatican, on Jan. 31, 2021”.(AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino)

Pope Francis grants priests the authority to bless same-sex couples.’. Read More. While it is a major step forward for a 1.378 billion-people organization, it is not considered equal to marriage and the blessings should not be included in any other church ceremony or liturgy.

The declaration states “When two people request a blessing, even if their situation as a couple is “irregular,” it will be possible for the ordained minister to consent. However, this gesture of pastoral closeness must avoid any elements that remotely resemble a marriage rite…” Read the full declaration. 

Chosen to lead the Catholic Church in 2013 following the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI, Francis has made notable strides in advocating for culturally progressive ideas within the church. This has included softening the church’s stance towards the LGBTQ+ community, as well as speaking out against consumerism, war and climate change. While these steps have been well-received by many, they have also been met with scorn by others, as was the case online in the wake of the same-sex blessings decision.

Following the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI, Francis was chosen to lead the Catholic Church in 2013 and has since made significant progress in promoting culturally progressive ideals within the church. In recent times, the church has adopted a more accepting attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community and has actively spoken out against consumerism, war, and climate change. Although these actions have been positively received by some, they have also faced criticism from others, as evidenced by the backlash on social media after the ruling on same-sex blessings. See more here.

It may prove difficult to please the vast population of 3 billion individuals in unison is a tough feat, but this serves as a positive starting point to terminate the catholic church’s discrimination and homophobia and become a part of a new reality. Whether one is in favor or not.

 


Homophobia todavía vivita y coleando: no tengo nada en contra pero…

Lesbianas, gays, bisexuales, transexuales, intersexo, y otras personas que se identifican con la cultura “queer:  enfrentan peligros físicos pero sobre todo emocionales por ser quienes son  y atreverse a vivir como quieren y a ejercitar el derecho de libre albedrío que todos tenemos. Existe abundante evidencia de que el prejuicio que enfrentamos, la homofobia,  es tóxico y perverso, invade los espacios sociales, familiares y penetra nuestra psique profundamente. Por lo tanto, a pesar de todas las victorias ganadas la homofobia esta “vivita y coleando”.

Por ejemplo, cuando este prejuicio contra los homosexuales proviene de los padres o de ls entidades religiosas,  el efecto es mucho mas profundo. Según el profesor de psicología de la Universidad de Tennessee Knoxville, Dawn Szymanski, la investigación muestra que experimentar el rechazo de los padres de su identidad sexual está relacionado con la negatividad traumática internalizada, lo que los psicólogos llaman “homonegatividad internalizada” o “estigma internalizado”. Lo mismo es cierto cuando una persona pertenece a una religión que rechaza la homosexualidad. Todo esto no solo aumenta el odio y la intolerancia hacia estos grupos pero incrementa la internalization de que algo malo sucede con nosotros, que no somos lo suficiente buenos, lo suficientemente aptos, queridos o dignos de maor yes internalization afecta nuestro auto concepto y la manera como nos vemos a nosotros mismos y como interactuamos con los demás. La homofobia está tan arraigada en el arquetipo colectivo que hacemos chistes y usamos comentarios peyorativos para referirnos a los miembros de esas comunidades “LGBTI” pero a pesar de los esfuerzos por superarlo, incluso en España, considerada como el segundo país, después de Alemania, en recibir y aprobar a los miembros LGBT, todavía se hacen chistes y agresiones de bajo tono contra las personas gays. La Universidad de Barcelona, hace varios meses difundió un estudio de los 12 comentarios homophobic mas usados por nuestra cultura.

De allí que podrás imaginar lo que es  crecer escuchando a tus seres queridos afirmando que ciertos grupos de personas son malvados. De hecho, estas personas son tan malas, tan equivocadas, que Dios mismo las castigará. Imagina absorber este odio profundamente en tus huesos. Imagine que luego descubre, en algún momento de su adolescencia, que es una de estas personas. Ellos son los odiados. Eres el odiado y luego la sociedad viene a reforzar que eres anormal, que algo anda mal dentro de ti, en tu cabeza, con sus micro-agresiones o mas abiertos y hóstiles ataques.  Estos acosos y ataques son reales y ocurren a nivel físico, amenazando la vida, mientras otros mas soslayados solo socavan tu seguridad emocional y autoestima. Lo aprendemos desde pequeños y terminamos internalizandolo como una realidad.Una consecuencia de este estigma internalizado por nosotros y otros es la violencia entre o contra nosotros mismos: los estudios de parejas del mismo sexo muestran que la homofobia internalizada es un predictor significativo de violencia dentro de una relación. El odio a uno mismo también crea una profunda angustia psicológica: un metaanálisis encontró que los niveles más altos de estigma anti-gay internalizado se correlacionan con una peor salud mental. La angustia psicológica puede incluir ansiedad, depresión, baja autoestima e hiperactivación, un estado de mayor tensión que incluye irritabilidad, ira y agresión.

Hoy en día, la lucha por firmar nuestras identidad gay es tan actual como lo fue en los escondidos bares de la post guerra en incluso los de los tiempos de Stonewall in New York en los 50’s y 60’s por eso, ahora mas que nunca tenemos la responsabilidad de detener el acoso, y abrir nuestros corazones a las diferencias, no basta tolerar pero abrazar las diferencias, hacerlas nuestras para enriquecer el tapizado de la humanidad. Cuando viajamos conocemos nuevas gentes, nuevas comidas, pero si no nos traemos nada de esos lugares a casa, es como ir al zoológico y solo mirar y admirar, para luego dejar altas la experiencia y hacerla ajena, lejana y nunca parte de nuestro diario devenir.

Vemos que aunque mucha agua ha pasado por debajo del puente desde la primera marcha en 1976, de las lesbianas en motos(dykes-on-bykes) en San Francisco, mi antigua casa donde disfrute +20 años de libertad y autodeterminación, todavía usamos  términos para intimidar a otros: Dyke Queer Maricón. Las burlas han salido de las lenguas de los matones, pero hemos reclamado las palabras en sus propios términos y continuamos una lista interminable de micro-agresiones contra aquellos cuyo único pecado es ser diferente a la mayoría. Pero si nos unimos todos quien es la mayoría, y cuál mayoría, y la de donde? . Es verdad que no hubo una declaración más fuerte que Dykes en Bikes–el  grupo que dirigió formalmente el desfile del Orgullo de San Francisco en 1976– y se  trasladó al frente para que las máquinas pudieran pasear a los caminantes, pero cierta historia precede a esa presencia. Cuando las mujeres se ofrecieron como voluntarias en la Segunda Guerra Mundial, tomaron trabajos tradicionalmente reservados para hombres. La literatura lésbica vinculaba a las mujeres y las motocicletas, y los carteles de reclutamiento exudaban el clásico estilo butch de la época. Las mujeres hemos estado en la vanguardia de muchos de los cambios que hemos visto crecer durante la historia de la humanidad, y quizás este sea el tiempo para usar mas de las herramientas femeninas del poder, la sabiduría, y el aspecto enriquecedor y nutritivo para enseñar a nuestros hijos e hijas, hermanos y hermanas que hay otra manera de vivir.

Por otra parte, veo con placer que en mi nueva casa, a pesar del lio politico, se refuerza que esta región es tierra de tolerancia y de libertades individuales, han escogido las festividades de San Narciso en Gerona para inaugurar la primera las publica par la comunidad LBTI.  Catalunya, es uno de los territorios pioneros en la integración del colectivo LGBTI y en promover leyes contra la homofobia y la discriminación. Cataluña da la bienvenida a gays, lesbianas, bisexuales y transexuales, en una parte pues reconocen el poder adquisitivo y el impacto turístico de dicha comunidad, pero aun con el debido sarcasmo, quizás  lo hacen también por sensibilidad y tradición “… Cataluña “es tu casa”, como dice la canción, “si es que hay casas que son de alguien”.

Si mis amigas y amigos, mucha agua ha corrido bajo los puentes y vemos nuevas actitudes pero bajo la solapa, la tolerancia  a medias se descubre sin raspar mucho la superficie. Son muchas las ciudades que se declaran “gay-friendly” o abiertas a los miembros de la comunidad LGBTI, pero aun así, encontramos  las dobles caras, como esta en Montevideo, Uruguay donde nos dejan saber, que somos aceptados mientras no demostremos nuestro afecto to una a la otra en publico (demostraciones publicas de afecto gay –en inglés se le conoce como Gay PDA = Public Display of Affection). Todos lo vemos y lo sabemos, pero rara vez hablamos de ello: el estigma en torno a las demostraciones públicas de afecto entre parejas del mismo sexo. Como compañera lesbiana, me parece triste y frustrante que la comunidad LGBTQ + sienta que tienen que ocultar su amor y afecto mutuo. ¿Por qué alguien debería sentir que no puede besarse o tomarse de la mano de su pareja en público? Desafortunadamente, hay varias razones por las cuales esto está sucediendo

Aunque algunas encuestas muestran adverso moral en base, a cualquier demostración de afecto en publico, los números incrementan cuando se tratan de parejas delmismo sexo. Una encuesta hecha por Poll PDA Gay – Eonline hacia las demostraciones de afecto en público independientemente sean gay o no y ante la pregunta” Le dan mas asco las demostraciones de afecto en publico de las parejas gay que las de los hetero?se encontraron los siguientes resultados.

  • 16.7% Si, admito que los lenguados de parejas del mismo sexo me hacen brincar el estomago
  • 28.8% No: La batalla de “espadas de saliva” no me molesta, gay o hetero
  • 54.5% Ni lo uno o lo otro: Odio cualquier PDA en general y me gust aria que la prohibieran.

No puedo negar mi sorpresa con las respuestas del 54.5% de personas entrevistadas por la encuesta Eonline donde desaprueban cualquier gesto de afecto en publico. En este momento cuando el mundo esta colapsando en muchos sentidos, los partidos politicos no logran agrupar cohesivamente a sus partidarios, y la tierra sufre por nuestra irresponsabilidad y falta de buentrato, es mucho lo que debemos hacer y demostrar afecto de cualquier manera pudiera ser una respuesta.  No importa si  mas y mas gobiernos instituyen leyes que protegen el matrimoio del mismo sexo, la adopción para parejas gay, y hasta los mas conservadores como países Asiáticos han abierto la puerta ha la aceptación, tolerancia y reconocimiento de diferente individualidades si no nos comprometemos como individuos a acabar el odio y la segregación, debemos hacer mas. Todavía resuena en el aire la frase enunciada en Mayo 2019 por la presidenta the Taiwan, Tsai Ing-wen, quien alegre de apoyar la ley de reconocimiento de matrimonios de parejas del mismo sexo, dijera a los diputados, “…tenemos una oportunidad de hacer historia y mostrarle al mundo que los valores progresistas pueden arraigar en las sociedades de Asia Oriental… y mostrar al mundo que el amor gana”.

Junto con legislaciones políticas y edictos gubernamentales, debemos buscar en el fondo de nuestros corazones y revisar nuestros mitos y prejuicios pues después de todo las comunidades no son mas que la suma de individuos, a veces llenos de miedo y paranoia que vemos a los nuevos, los diferentes, gays, inmigrantes, refugiados como enemigos que nos contaminaran de algo horrendo o nos quitaran algo que es solo nuestro. Todos tenemos derecho a vivir en esta tierra, a existir y a hacer uso de nuestros derechos y si lo hacemos juntos, es mejor.

Sigamos luchando,  por cambiar lo que es inaceptable y como la activista y profesora Norte Americana, Angela Davis dice:

NO ESTOY ACEPTANDO LAS COSAS QUE NO PUEDO CAMBIAR, ESTOY CAMBIANDO LAS COSAS QUE NO PUEDO ACEPTAR


Therapy for older LGBT individuals

happy lesbian couple.When addressing the needs for counseling and therapy for the LGBT population, we are already stressing the importance of this segment of our society, however like with any group of people, we cannot just compile ALL issues for all of the group in only one issue or set of issues as the solutions are not one size fits all, either. In 2011, David Richards’ article ‘Working with older LGBT people’ (http://www.therapytoday.net/article/show/2830/)  explores the challenges of working therapeutically with older LGBT men and women, for gay, lesbian and heterosexual practitioners”. He stresses the generalities of working with this population but as expressed by Carly Hall: “… there are some issues that I would like to raise in the interests of older lesbians. I speak as a lesbian growing older, a client, a healthcare professional and a researcher…First, to address LGBT as one general group I believe is incorrect. Even taking out the bisexual and transgender, one is still left with two hugely diverse groups. Political, sociological and economic influences over the years, combined with the biology of being a woman, will inevitably make older lesbians’ experiences markedly different from those of gay men of a similar age.Women who today are over 65 (born pre-1947) and identify as lesbians are acknowledged by health and social care researchers to be a difficult group to reach; ‘convenience’ samples may not always be representative of the wide group. But there are findings from pertinent research studies, including my own, which may have relevance for the therapist.  Read Carly Hall’s article (http://www.therapytoday.net/article/show/2972/)


Latinas’ Challenges to Come Out of The Closet

Copyright : Bogdan Ionescu

Copyright : Bogdan Ionescu

In the Latin culture the role of women is sometimes defined narrowly and women are brought up to be “super” moms and dedicated wives. The family pressure to keep a clean home, raise well-mannered children and be fabulous cooks can be a little overwhelming. You can add onto that pressure that to be a good “wife” and “mother” implies being heterosexual, and find the right “husband” not the right wife.

Latinas,  are professionals, blue collar workers, students, artists, and they all face their own struggles, successes, and secrets.  For we Latinas are as diverse, as shallow, and as deep as our dominant-culture counterparts. Our stories of immigration and oppression are gripping, but they are not only stories of discrimination or acculturation to tell, we also have our gender struggle stories to tell. Some are wives and mothers, yet individuals, too and some of us are lesbians and proud of it. Yet our culture and family does not welcome, always, our “coming out of the closet”. Our stories are as wide and as varied as the hues we come in.

Even the Spanish language conspires against those women who called themselves lesbians or bi-sexuals, because most of the counterpart words in Spanish have a negative connotation. Activists at the Human Rights Campaign had written that “…Although “gay” has the same meaning in Spanish as in English, the word “lesbiana” still has negative connotations. Many Latina women who love women, however, are purposely using the word to reclaim it from those who would use it against them…” (Read More)

On another article HRC states “… Although Latina/o Americans come from various cultural backgrounds, many who come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender share similar experiences and challenges. Some, who were raised Roman Catholic, must reconcile themselves with the church’s teachings that acting on one’s homosexuality is sinful. Language differences often make finding resources and support difficult, and a lack of LGBT Latinas/os in media and entertainment perpetuates invisibility. Fortunately, however, anecdotal evidence suggests that a growing number of Latinas/os are coming out…”

Find more resources for Latinas y Latinos “coming out of the closet” on HRC: Guía de Recursos Para Salir Del Clóset

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Same Sex Couples: More Stability? More Resilience? More Trouble?

Copyright : Mahdees Mahjoob

Copyright : Mahdees Mahjoob

Research has shown that behavioral differentiation of the sexes is minimal in children. Sex differences emerge primarily in social situations, and their nature varies with the gender composition during socialization. Patterns of mutual influence can become more symmetrical in intimate male–female dyads, but the distinctive styles of the two sexes can still be seen in such dyads and are subsequently manifested in the roles and relationships of parenthood.

On the other hand, research has found that same sex couples develop, in general, a certain resilience that brings more stability to their lives, there are always exceptions but for instance, Drs. John & Julie Gottman, founders of  The Gottman Institute, an institute in Seattle, WA dedicated to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated.

The Gottmans undertook a 12-year study that revealed same sex couples developed more resilience than some straight couples. have a commitment to assuring that lesbian and gay couples have resources to help strengthen and support their relationships. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman made a key contribution to research on daughters of lesbians: her work showed that daughters with lesbian moms do just as well as those raised by straight moms. Dr. John Gottman conducted the first longitudinal study of its kind of gay and lesbian relationships using multiple methods and measures. He was able assess the emotional strengths and weaknesses of the relationships, and to learn what makes these relationships more or less stable.Read More About The Study

Same sex parenthood is not an isolated case, studies estimate that between 1 and 9 million children in the United States have at least one parent who is lesbian or gay. There are approximately 594,000 same-sex partner households, according to the 2000 Census, and there are children living in approximately 27 percent of those households. However, we do find many challenges when it comes to fight homophobia and raising a family, one of the biggest challenges facing same-sex parented families is that they must live in a culture that supports heterosexist and homophobic attitudes and beliefs, which can affect these families in a variety of ways. A second complication is that these families are usually part of a blended family and include children from previous heterosexual marriages. Some of these families may deal with disagreement from other family members about the authenticity and validity of their family patterns. Lack of support from a previous heterosexual partner or the other biological parent can cause major conflict and distress within the family system. Today, there are many therapists available who specialize in gay and lesbian issues and provide a safe, nonjudgmental and understanding environment for the family. Frequently, gay and lesbian parented families will seek therapeutic help for guidance, support, and recognition that they may not be receiving from the broader social arena. The AAMFT suggests that psychotherapy could help. (Read More How Therapy Can Help)

 


When Love Matters: Same-Sex Couples’ Children Have a Lot

                                Copyright : Maria Dubova


Copyright : Maria Dubova

The largest-ever study of same-sex parents found their children turn out healthier and happier than the general population. A study of 315 same-sex parents and 500 children in Australia found that, after correcting for socioeconomic factors, the children fared well on several measures, including asthma, dental care, behavioral issues, learning, sleep, and speech.

“…what this means is that people take on roles that are suited to their skill sets rather than falling into those gender stereotypes…At the same time, two-thirds of the parents reported a perceived stigma on at least one issue tracked by the survey. These stigmas ranged from other people gossiping about an LGBT family to same-sex parents feeling excluded at social gatherings due to their sexual orientation…” Read More

Published in Australia, the study proposes children of same-sex parents enjoy better levels of health and wellbeing than their peers from traditional family units, new Australian research suggests. Read the article So no surprises that when chosen, cherished, and desired, parenting produces more opportunities to love our children despite the gender of the parents.

 


A Victory for Therapists and LGBT: U.S. Supreme Court Says No To Conversion Therapy

NCLR June 30, 2014

NCLR June 30, 2014

I was so happy when earlier today, I received, like many of us, an email from Kate Kendell, Esq, the fabulous executive Director for The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) saying “…Earlier today, the United States Supreme Court declined to review a challenge to California’s law—which NCLR and Equality California helped draft, pass, and defend—that protects LGBT children from conversion therapists. The decision clears the way for enforcement of the first law in the nation that protects kids from unethical counselors and therapists who engage in these dangerous practices to try to change their sexual orientation or gender expression.

For therapists all around the globe these are GREAT NEWS, as NCLR picture shows “…you can not switch off who you are…” While as many as 1 in 3 LGBT people have been subjected to conversion therapy, whether by a licensed clinician, a religious leader, or another trusted adult, the trauma of these experiences can make it difficult to come forward. (Read some survivor stories)

It is really scaring to think that professionals who had studied the harmful effects of pushing a personal agenda into a psychotherapy client can be unethically oblivious of the devastating effects of conversion therapy (Read More About Conversion Therapy

What is next? Converting people of color into white or converting right brain people onto left-brain for the sake of somebody’s new agenda or bias? Give me a break. We therapists are supposed not to harm and be the catalyst for our clients’ process, it is not our place to change anybody but help them to explore their path and desires.

NCLR has launched the project NCLR has launched Born Perfect: The Campaign to End Conversion Therapyin the next five years by passing laws across the country to protect LGBT kids, fighting in courtrooms to ensure their safety, and raising awareness about the serious harms caused by these dangerous practices.


Gay and Lesbian Couples Counseling

Copyright : Rudolph Pieterse

I am always looking for the latest, the newest article or event related to LGBT well-being or LGBT rights, just a passion of mine, and part of my practice. However, some things like the Iliad by Homer and the Bible are timeless. Not always the newer is the better. For instance, I ran into a wonderful article by by Michael C. LaSala, Ph.D., LCSW in Gay and Lesbian Well-Being for Psychology Today where he addresses the issues of  “Helping Same-Sex Couples Who’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”

Dr. LaSala stresses the importance  -in the midst of our fight for same sex marriage, he addresses how to avoid same sex divorce, and said “…What about couples’ therapy? If your relationship is having problems and you are pursuing this step, that’s a good sign–the prognosis for your partnership is good because people who take action to save (or improve) a troubled relationship often manage to do so. However, if you’re looking for someone to referee your conflicts, or to finally convince your thickheaded partner of your unassailable sense of fairness and the truth, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Over the past 25 years, I have done quite a bit of relationship therapy and here is some of what I have learned that you should keep in mind as you move forward…”

Sometimes, I think couples, LGBT or others just wait too long to seek therapy and sometimes it is too late when they come to see me for help. Perhaps this article will help you to do the right thing in a timely manner (wink-wink). Read Dr. LaSala article


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