Doris Bersing, PhD
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Homophobia todavía vivita y coleando: no tengo nada en contra pero…

Lesbianas, gays, bisexuales, transexuales, intersexo, y otras personas que se identifican con la cultura “queer:  enfrentan peligros físicos pero sobre todo emocionales por ser quienes son  y atreverse a vivir como quieren y a ejercitar el derecho de libre albedrío que todos tenemos. Existe abundante evidencia de que el prejuicio que enfrentamos, la homofobia,  es tóxico y perverso, invade los espacios sociales, familiares y penetra nuestra psique profundamente. Por lo tanto, a pesar de todas las victorias ganadas la homofobia esta “vivita y coleando”.

Por ejemplo, cuando este prejuicio contra los homosexuales proviene de los padres o de ls entidades religiosas,  el efecto es mucho mas profundo. Según el profesor de psicología de la Universidad de Tennessee Knoxville, Dawn Szymanski, la investigación muestra que experimentar el rechazo de los padres de su identidad sexual está relacionado con la negatividad traumática internalizada, lo que los psicólogos llaman “homonegatividad internalizada” o “estigma internalizado”. Lo mismo es cierto cuando una persona pertenece a una religión que rechaza la homosexualidad. Todo esto no solo aumenta el odio y la intolerancia hacia estos grupos pero incrementa la internalization de que algo malo sucede con nosotros, que no somos lo suficiente buenos, lo suficientemente aptos, queridos o dignos de maor yes internalization afecta nuestro auto concepto y la manera como nos vemos a nosotros mismos y como interactuamos con los demás. La homofobia está tan arraigada en el arquetipo colectivo que hacemos chistes y usamos comentarios peyorativos para referirnos a los miembros de esas comunidades “LGBTI” pero a pesar de los esfuerzos por superarlo, incluso en España, considerada como el segundo país, después de Alemania, en recibir y aprobar a los miembros LGBT, todavía se hacen chistes y agresiones de bajo tono contra las personas gays. La Universidad de Barcelona, hace varios meses difundió un estudio de los 12 comentarios homophobic mas usados por nuestra cultura.

De allí que podrás imaginar lo que es  crecer escuchando a tus seres queridos afirmando que ciertos grupos de personas son malvados. De hecho, estas personas son tan malas, tan equivocadas, que Dios mismo las castigará. Imagina absorber este odio profundamente en tus huesos. Imagine que luego descubre, en algún momento de su adolescencia, que es una de estas personas. Ellos son los odiados. Eres el odiado y luego la sociedad viene a reforzar que eres anormal, que algo anda mal dentro de ti, en tu cabeza, con sus micro-agresiones o mas abiertos y hóstiles ataques.  Estos acosos y ataques son reales y ocurren a nivel físico, amenazando la vida, mientras otros mas soslayados solo socavan tu seguridad emocional y autoestima. Lo aprendemos desde pequeños y terminamos internalizandolo como una realidad.Una consecuencia de este estigma internalizado por nosotros y otros es la violencia entre o contra nosotros mismos: los estudios de parejas del mismo sexo muestran que la homofobia internalizada es un predictor significativo de violencia dentro de una relación. El odio a uno mismo también crea una profunda angustia psicológica: un metaanálisis encontró que los niveles más altos de estigma anti-gay internalizado se correlacionan con una peor salud mental. La angustia psicológica puede incluir ansiedad, depresión, baja autoestima e hiperactivación, un estado de mayor tensión que incluye irritabilidad, ira y agresión.

Hoy en día, la lucha por firmar nuestras identidad gay es tan actual como lo fue en los escondidos bares de la post guerra en incluso los de los tiempos de Stonewall in New York en los 50’s y 60’s por eso, ahora mas que nunca tenemos la responsabilidad de detener el acoso, y abrir nuestros corazones a las diferencias, no basta tolerar pero abrazar las diferencias, hacerlas nuestras para enriquecer el tapizado de la humanidad. Cuando viajamos conocemos nuevas gentes, nuevas comidas, pero si no nos traemos nada de esos lugares a casa, es como ir al zoológico y solo mirar y admirar, para luego dejar altas la experiencia y hacerla ajena, lejana y nunca parte de nuestro diario devenir.

Vemos que aunque mucha agua ha pasado por debajo del puente desde la primera marcha en 1976, de las lesbianas en motos(dykes-on-bykes) en San Francisco, mi antigua casa donde disfrute +20 años de libertad y autodeterminación, todavía usamos  términos para intimidar a otros: Dyke Queer Maricón. Las burlas han salido de las lenguas de los matones, pero hemos reclamado las palabras en sus propios términos y continuamos una lista interminable de micro-agresiones contra aquellos cuyo único pecado es ser diferente a la mayoría. Pero si nos unimos todos quien es la mayoría, y cuál mayoría, y la de donde? . Es verdad que no hubo una declaración más fuerte que Dykes en Bikes–el  grupo que dirigió formalmente el desfile del Orgullo de San Francisco en 1976– y se  trasladó al frente para que las máquinas pudieran pasear a los caminantes, pero cierta historia precede a esa presencia. Cuando las mujeres se ofrecieron como voluntarias en la Segunda Guerra Mundial, tomaron trabajos tradicionalmente reservados para hombres. La literatura lésbica vinculaba a las mujeres y las motocicletas, y los carteles de reclutamiento exudaban el clásico estilo butch de la época. Las mujeres hemos estado en la vanguardia de muchos de los cambios que hemos visto crecer durante la historia de la humanidad, y quizás este sea el tiempo para usar mas de las herramientas femeninas del poder, la sabiduría, y el aspecto enriquecedor y nutritivo para enseñar a nuestros hijos e hijas, hermanos y hermanas que hay otra manera de vivir.

Por otra parte, veo con placer que en mi nueva casa, a pesar del lio politico, se refuerza que esta región es tierra de tolerancia y de libertades individuales, han escogido las festividades de San Narciso en Gerona para inaugurar la primera las publica par la comunidad LBTI.  Catalunya, es uno de los territorios pioneros en la integración del colectivo LGBTI y en promover leyes contra la homofobia y la discriminación. Cataluña da la bienvenida a gays, lesbianas, bisexuales y transexuales, en una parte pues reconocen el poder adquisitivo y el impacto turístico de dicha comunidad, pero aun con el debido sarcasmo, quizás  lo hacen también por sensibilidad y tradición “… Cataluña “es tu casa”, como dice la canción, “si es que hay casas que son de alguien”.

Si mis amigas y amigos, mucha agua ha corrido bajo los puentes y vemos nuevas actitudes pero bajo la solapa, la tolerancia  a medias se descubre sin raspar mucho la superficie. Son muchas las ciudades que se declaran “gay-friendly” o abiertas a los miembros de la comunidad LGBTI, pero aun así, encontramos  las dobles caras, como esta en Montevideo, Uruguay donde nos dejan saber, que somos aceptados mientras no demostremos nuestro afecto to una a la otra en publico (demostraciones publicas de afecto gay –en inglés se le conoce como Gay PDA = Public Display of Affection). Todos lo vemos y lo sabemos, pero rara vez hablamos de ello: el estigma en torno a las demostraciones públicas de afecto entre parejas del mismo sexo. Como compañera lesbiana, me parece triste y frustrante que la comunidad LGBTQ + sienta que tienen que ocultar su amor y afecto mutuo. ¿Por qué alguien debería sentir que no puede besarse o tomarse de la mano de su pareja en público? Desafortunadamente, hay varias razones por las cuales esto está sucediendo

Aunque algunas encuestas muestran adverso moral en base, a cualquier demostración de afecto en publico, los números incrementan cuando se tratan de parejas delmismo sexo. Una encuesta hecha por Poll PDA Gay – Eonline hacia las demostraciones de afecto en público independientemente sean gay o no y ante la pregunta” Le dan mas asco las demostraciones de afecto en publico de las parejas gay que las de los hetero?se encontraron los siguientes resultados.

  • 16.7% Si, admito que los lenguados de parejas del mismo sexo me hacen brincar el estomago
  • 28.8% No: La batalla de “espadas de saliva” no me molesta, gay o hetero
  • 54.5% Ni lo uno o lo otro: Odio cualquier PDA en general y me gust aria que la prohibieran.

No puedo negar mi sorpresa con las respuestas del 54.5% de personas entrevistadas por la encuesta Eonline donde desaprueban cualquier gesto de afecto en publico. En este momento cuando el mundo esta colapsando en muchos sentidos, los partidos politicos no logran agrupar cohesivamente a sus partidarios, y la tierra sufre por nuestra irresponsabilidad y falta de buentrato, es mucho lo que debemos hacer y demostrar afecto de cualquier manera pudiera ser una respuesta.  No importa si  mas y mas gobiernos instituyen leyes que protegen el matrimoio del mismo sexo, la adopción para parejas gay, y hasta los mas conservadores como países Asiáticos han abierto la puerta ha la aceptación, tolerancia y reconocimiento de diferente individualidades si no nos comprometemos como individuos a acabar el odio y la segregación, debemos hacer mas. Todavía resuena en el aire la frase enunciada en Mayo 2019 por la presidenta the Taiwan, Tsai Ing-wen, quien alegre de apoyar la ley de reconocimiento de matrimonios de parejas del mismo sexo, dijera a los diputados, “…tenemos una oportunidad de hacer historia y mostrarle al mundo que los valores progresistas pueden arraigar en las sociedades de Asia Oriental… y mostrar al mundo que el amor gana”.

Junto con legislaciones políticas y edictos gubernamentales, debemos buscar en el fondo de nuestros corazones y revisar nuestros mitos y prejuicios pues después de todo las comunidades no son mas que la suma de individuos, a veces llenos de miedo y paranoia que vemos a los nuevos, los diferentes, gays, inmigrantes, refugiados como enemigos que nos contaminaran de algo horrendo o nos quitaran algo que es solo nuestro. Todos tenemos derecho a vivir en esta tierra, a existir y a hacer uso de nuestros derechos y si lo hacemos juntos, es mejor.

Sigamos luchando,  por cambiar lo que es inaceptable y como la activista y profesora Norte Americana, Angela Davis dice:

NO ESTOY ACEPTANDO LAS COSAS QUE NO PUEDO CAMBIAR, ESTOY CAMBIANDO LAS COSAS QUE NO PUEDO ACEPTAR


Thinking of Dementia and Identity

DB smTime goes by and I realized, I am getting old-er …although it is not a discovery, it is for sure, a daily fact. One that shows on the mirror more often than before. Always when thinking about getting older, given my line of work (gerontology, among others), I think: what if…what if I get dementia?

Most of us spend a big part of our life searching for meaning, trying to find our identity, and although Thomas Szasz said in The Second Sin (1973) said “…the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates…” we set ourselves for the pursuit of that elusive identity and our meaning as human beings. What is life all about and overall what is our role in life? What do we really live for? Who are we?

We pass many of our prime years looking for our identity, fighting for one, trying to assert one if we are ever given a glimpse of it, wrestling to have our needs met and to have our dreams come true. That search for identity comes sometimes in a puzzle of circumstances, challenges and exploits, and like the overprotected Nemo, we need to swim the oceans of uncertainty and grow until finding ourselves

Through the journey in search of our identity, we attempt to unfold our potential, our desires, and to adjust at the best of our abilities to the challenges of daily life. We build our life upon joys, shadows, and sorrows and fill that life with the mementos and the facts we carve in our memory, those we gathered throughout our journey but one-day, zas! You are diagnosed with dementia. There you are, all of the sudden lost, confused and soon to be stripped, if not of your identity, at least, officially, of your mind.

I know, hopefully, we all have been lost in our minds out of excitement, passion, or love and yet, after the diagnoses you will not be lost in your mind, anymore, since now, your are losing yours. Of course, we could discuss what really mind is, there is so much more to the mind than the cognitive aspect of it and yet for any purpose is THAT mind the one holding your memories, mementos, treasures, pains, and joys that is ready to go with the wind. Well in reality, with the plaques and tangles created in your brain, in a certain time you will not even remember the time of diagnosis. Just as Clark Gable stated while playing Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind, stated, you may well say: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn….” But he clock is ticking.

Professionals will offer all what they have. They talk and teach how to calm you down, how to deal with your mood swings and your challenging behaviors but do they really know what we are going through, what you are going through? Do they know that you are going through the tunnel, in and out of the darkness, the uncertainty with the challenge of living an existential tale of the here and now, for which, you did not sign up and for which, effectively you have never practiced. Then come the drugs, the optimism, the clinical trials, the walking to fund more research, hopefully before it is too late for you. Looking now for a different meaning. There is so much that is done, said, so much still to do and yet nobody really knows what you are going through.

We try and theorize about the phenomenon, the neurological, psychological, emotional, and practical side of it, even the spiritual side of it. Needless to say, we appreciate all the nice legitimate attempts people make writing new books about breakthrough treatments and findings; they present lectures, write articles about you but what if you could really explain how it is to know that your life is slipping away, fading away? What if you had a voice? What if they found a cure?

I wish I could be more helpful, but I really do not know how it is, all is in my best efforts to explain a phenomenon, I can only observe and witness with powerlessness, compassion and horror. I do not have dementia and I wonder if I had it how I would feel? What would it be like? Again, I do not know but if I could, if I were you, I would not like to go there. That said, I hope I would react calmly and with patience for myself, although I doubt it but let the journey continue and keep on swimming.

For now, I find some solace and motivation to keep ‘on swimming in Thoreau’s wisdom:

“…I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately… only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. ~Henry David Thoreau, 1854


Depression: You Can Break Free From it

Sadness and depression

Copyright: kmiragaya

More than just a bout of the blues, depression is not a permanent personality trait or a character issue or a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply “snap out” of.

Clinicians at the Mayo Clinic state that “…Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depression, major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn’t worth living…depression may require long-term treatment. But don’t get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychological counseling or both…”

Struggling with depression requires action, but taking action when you’re depressed is hard. Even f you know you could do something to feel better, the fact of just thinking about the things you should do to feel better, requires a level of energy, often, you do not have. It’s the paradoxical side of fighting depression: The things that help us the most are the things that are the most difficult to do and overcoming depression is not something you do in the blink of an eye, it is difficult stuff but there’s a difference between something that’s difficult and something that’s impossible.

A recent article on WebMD states that “…many people think of depression as an intolerable sadness or a deep gloom that just won’t go away. Yet depression can also be sneaky, disguised in symptoms that can be hard to identify. If you’ve had unexplained aches or pains, often feel irritable or angry for no reason, or cry at the drop of a hat — you could be depressed.

Fortunately, you can be proactive with depression. Learn how these less obvious symptoms can reveal themselves and when you should seek out depression treatment…” Read More


Depression Hurts and Robs You of Your Life

Copyright by  Piotr Marcinski

Copyright by Piotr Marcinski

We have written about people dying of depression, which can be an ultimate fact for those who shut down and decided to go on a suicidal path, for those, that is the end. However for others, who go with untreated depression, death perhaps is not an option but a less than pleasant and meaningful life is. Having the blues or being sad after an important loss in your life, it is not depression but a normal and healthy response to events in life but when the blues become more purple than blue (so-to-speak), we are perhaps looking at a different situation.

Many myths regarding depression revolve around being stronger, like getting a grip on the particular situation one faces, or working harder to “get it out of your head…”or believing the prolonged sadness is just normal and not perhaps an illness; even thinking it is only one’s self-pity instead of a treatable condition add insult to an already deep and painful injury.

Sometimes, we are worry that treating the depression will mean being labeled as a mental patient, being on drugs forever, and seeing a therapist several times per week. Despite what the best seller “Prozac Nation” depicts (although some passages are right) about medication is only one of the tools used to lift depression. And looking for help does not mean you will be on psychotropic drugs forever. In fact, studies suggest that psychotherapy in any of its modalities (talking therapy, drama therapy, expressive arts, cognitive behavioral, deep brief oriented or others) work as well as prescription drugs to treat depression. Moreover, even if you are prescribed some drugs, chances are that it will not be a lifetime solution.

Feeling sad, hopeless, and helpless, is true, does not help to lift the by now purple instead of blues but do not fool yourself, the hopelessness is part of the illness, not a part of daily life and for sure not an unchangeable reality. When treated, positive thinking gradually replaces negative thoughts. In fact, most people (up-to 70% as by the National Institute of Mental Health) who seek for help to deal with their depression become symptom-free by combining medication and psychotherapy.

The bottom line is that if you have been feeling down and/or sad for what it seems to be too long, you should seek for help. Trying to diagnose yourself or going through the list of symptoms after a goggle search can confirm your suspicion but can mislead you as well. A reliable source on how to seek for help can be found on the WebMD or Psychology Today.

Whatever you do, remember you do not need to lose your mojo, being purple all the time, or miss out on all the fun and meaning of your life.


Depression Kills

Free Wallpapers by Karl

Free Wallpapers by Karl

Still after few days, the news about Robin Williams’ apparent suicide shocked me beyond what I expected my own reactions to this phenomenon would be. Few months ago, Philip Seymour Hoffman saddened me when dying of a drug overdose yet another consumed suicide. What has become apparent to me after these events is how much depression is underestimated by the general public and even by professionals and how, sometimes, it’s plays down as a personality fault, like not trying hard, being lazy.

How many times had we said to somebody who expresses feeling depressed…”comm’on …try it this or that…eventually it is about trying and you will be out of it…’ Well, the true facts show us that sometimes like in Williams; case or even Hoffman’s one, it is not that simple.The suffering created by mental illness is misunderstood by some people and the lack of empathy and support can be lethal for those affected by it.Millions of U.S. adults struggle with depression. Often, medication and psychotherapy help their moods and outlook. That said there is an optimal time to deal with the issue and a far-gone time when all hopes are over. Then we need to try to act upon the right timing and provide the help the person is looking for. Yet when depression kills, who is to blame, then? Is it the system, the therapist, the lack of willingness to work on the issues from the patients’ perspective, the despondence after trying tons of times?

Let’s face it, there is not a one size fits all answer and it is difficult to blame only one factor on why depression turn deadly for some and others seem to overcome it. Although they can be many factors affecting how bad depression can go like chronic mental illness, physical illness, untreated depression, feelings of hopelessness and emptiness, depression can be conquered. We need to continue talking about it and being alert and attentive to the signs of profound depression among us to support people affected by and encourage them to seek help.

Not all therapists are the same but if you are ready to do the “work”, therapy and the right therapist will help tremendously. Treatment works when done right. Medications help but alone it is just a palliative intervention and without diving into the deep waters of your mental issues, you are just masking the real reasons for your hopelessness. Look for someone who is a licensed therapist, with expertise in the area in which you are seeking help and combine it with supportive medication and be ready to walk through the dark night of the soul with the conviction that there is alight at the end of the tunnel.

Lord Buddha had already said 2,500 years ago that life is full of unpleasant moments and experiences and that there is pain in the world and it is unavoidable.
“Each life is filled with 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows.” But suffering, he said, is the response, “the relationship” we maintain, to the pain. He stated that one could experience pain without experiencing suffering. Even physical pain seems to reduce if we don’t resist it. Thus, there is hope, if we change the way we approach our suffering, we change the results of it. One valuable resource is mindfulness practice, used these days to work with pain, people with dementia, ADD, an other conditions and it teach us to breath and being in the moment, which, can help with the feelings of despondency and depressive thoughts. The breath calms the body and calms the mind. Mindfulness is about being aware of all this. It’s about stepping back and taking a different view of things, as the observer, rather than the participant. Of course, easier said than done and yet, we should have hope and seek professional help.

Diving into the deep sea of your issues is not comfortable or easy but very rewarding once you close some of the unfinished business that originate your current issues while gaining awareness of how your life became what is today. Yes, we are the product of the past but gaining that awareness here and now, helps us take the reins of our lives and make the changes we need to make to keep going in a different path from now on. Appreciate the opportunity to immerse yourself in anew path, one of change and hope. Start anew!


Resilience: The Client as an Active Agent of Change

Copyright : johan2011

Copyright : johan2011

Accepting we clinicians are not as mighty power as we , sometimes, want to believe, and as much of a blow to our egos, it can be, there is a fact we need to recognize as such: human resilience and people’s self-healing powers count for positive outcomes after traumas and strenuous circumstances, equally effectively or more than proven therapeutic approaches.

A very respected and renowned colleague of mine, Dr. Arthur Bohart always reminded me and anybody who wanted to listen to his revolutionary opinions in regards to the effectiveness of some therapeutic approaches or the best personality traits for a successful clinician, that human beings are more resilient that what we want to account for and that the theory of some approaches being more effective than others are more of a myth than a fact since for Dr. Bohart” the “client acts as a self-healer” and human resilience counts for more of the positive outcomes in therapy. So, what is the clinician’s role? In a way, we therapists are a catalyst or better said a witness to the self-healing process. A guide to educate and share the process with the client. In an article published in the Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, Vol. 10, No. 2, 2000, he describes the dominant “medical” or “treatment” model of psychotherapy and how it puts the client in the position of a “dependent variable” who is operated on by supposedly potent therapeutic techniques. Next I argue that the data do not fit with this model. An alternative model is that the client is the most important common factor and that it is clients’ self-healing capacities which make therapy work…” Read his article

The same concept works with the forgotten population, the older adults and elders. Resilience and aging: it’s a favorite theme of gero-psychiatrist Helen Lavretsy, MD, MS. It’s the subject of her new book, Resilience and Aging: Research and Practice and the theme of a symposium at the APA Annual Meeting in New York City. In a recent podcast, she talks briefly about interventions that can help bolster resilience and help older people recover quickly from adversity. Listen to her podcast

 

Resilience and aging: it’s a favorite theme of geropsychiatrist Helen Lavretsy, MD, MS. It’s the subject of her new book, Resilience and Aging: Research and Practice and the theme of a symposium at the APA Annual Meeting in New York City.Here, she talks briefly about interventions that can help bolster resilience and help older people recover quickly from adversity. – See more at: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/apa2014/strategies-bolstering-resilience-older-adults#sthash.LuOVSHfT.dpuf
Resilience and aging: it’s a favorite theme of geropsychiatrist Helen Lavretsy, MD, MS. It’s the subject of her new book, Resilience and Aging: Research and Practice and the theme of a symposium at the APA Annual Meeting in New York City.Here, she talks briefly about interventions that can help bolster resilience and help older people recover quickly from adversity. – See more at: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/apa2014/strategies-bolstering-resilience-older-adults#sthash.IleQ1IGr.dpuf

Anxiety and Mindfulness

Copyright : nejron

These days, we all are under steady pressure, stress, and with constant stimuli, anxiety really has gone “viral”. Anxiety can cause physical symptoms like a fast heartbeat and sweaty hands. It can make us limit our activities and can make it hard to enjoy our life and have meaningful and close personal relationships.

Anxiety is having too much fear and worry. Some people have what’s called generalized anxiety disorder. They feel worried and stressed about many things. Often they worry about even small things and it is s much more than being very nervous or edgy. An anxious person will report an unreasonable exaggeration of threats, repetitive negative thinking, hyper-arousal, and a strong identification with fear. The fight-or-flight response kicks into overdrive.

Although Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is widely used to treat anxiety and anxiety disorders by changing our thoughts and cognitive patterns, many specialists have found that healthy thinking and mindfulness can help us prevent or control anxiety. CBT attempts to replace maladaptive thinking by examining the patient’s distorted thinking and resetting the fight-or-flight response with more reasonable, accurate ones. The anxious person and the therapist work to actively change thought patterns. In contrast, instead of changing thoughts, mindfulness-based therapies (MBTs) seek to change the relationship between the anxious person and his or her thoughts. (Read More)

In mindfulness-based therapy, the person focuses on the bodily sensations that arise when he or she is anxious. Instead of avoiding or withdrawing from these feelings, he or she remains present and fully experiences the symptoms of anxiety. Instead of avoiding distressing thoughts, he or she opens up to them in an effort to realize and acknowledge that they are not literally true. Mindfulness involves paying attention “on purpose” and involves a conscious direction of our awareness.  It seems that awareness and mindfulness go hand-to-hand but Wildmind differentiates them”…We sometimes … talk about “mindfulness” and “awareness” as if they were interchangeable terms, but that’s not a good habit to get into…one may be aware one is irritable, but that wouldn’t mean one was being mindful of my irritability. In order to be mindful one has to be purposefully aware of oneself, not just vaguely and habitually aware. Knowing that  one is eating is not the same as eating mindfully…”

Margaria Tartakovsky, M.S says about mindfulness practice “…Mindfulness is one effective practice that helps to relax the mind and body…” according to Jeffrey Brantley, M.D., and Wendy Millstine, NC, in their book Daily Meditations for Calming Your Anxious Mind, mindfulness is: … an awareness that is sensitive, open, kind, gentle and curious. Mindfulness is a basic human capacity. It arises from paying attention on purpose in a way that is non-judging, friendly and does not try to add or subtract anything from whatever is happening. Ms. Tartakovsky had summarized 3 practices to calm your anxiety from Brantley and Millstine’s book.

UCLA research center in mindfulness  defines mindfulness as “… paying attention to present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is. It is an excellent antidote to the stresses of modern times. It invites us to stop, breathe, observe, and connect with one’s inner experience …” The UCLA research center in mindfulness is full of resources and information, as well. (Visit them)

Use all this information and resources and start today and stop the worrying that interferes with your daily life, remember chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.  If needed talk to your physician or look for psychotherapy to help you out. Good luck and stay cool!

 


Depression: A Terrible Truth and a Tale of Courage

Copyright : iqoncept

Copyright : iqoncept

When you read the statistics on the mental health phenomena, they will tell you that mental health is extremely prevalent in the adult population. An estimated 44.3 million American adults experience a diagnosable mental disorder each year. Approximately 18.8 million adults have a depressive disorder and over 19 million adults suffer from anxiety disorders. Millions of other people are dealing with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, eating disorders, substance abuse and other mental health problems. Mental illnesses can cause a person to have major difficulty functioning at their job, as a parent and in all areas of their lives. It is imperative for adults to be aware of their mental health and the mental health of their loved ones.

From these numbers, it seems like having a mental illness is an issue that everybody portraits, a norm, thus if it is so common, what that really means? perhaps that the abnormal is becoming normal? That the system is screwing us all? or that the paradigm should shift from diagnosing to preventing, re-vamping? Healing? Is it as the allergies in California,  something you develop sooner or later once you have landed here? Is it, really, that prevalent or we are misusing and/or abusing diagnoses?

When abusing or misusing diagnoses we are increasing the stigma that is already linked to mental illness. There is the sense of general stigma  from being different, weaker, suffering from depression, being a loser, having low self-esteem, ADD, not completing tasks, having anxiety or panic attacks, or to that matter any mental disorder found in the voluminous DSM V.

Once diagnosed or complaining about having a mental “issue”, well intentioned people would look at you and say things, like: I too have been sad but if you work hard, you’ll get out of it…well sometimes, you do not; or they will suggest you just try to lead a healthy and balance life, find your purpose, your meaning in life, follow your passion…Really? Some people cannot even get up and go, none the less find a passion to keep going. The stigma and the paralysis to act hits you really hard.

Having mental illness depicted in a negative side and represented in the media inaccurately and giving hurtful representations of its causes and consequences increase the stigma and discourage people suffering to seek help. NAMI StigmaBusters  is a network of dedicated advocates across the country and around the world that seek to fight misleading representations of mental illness. Whether these images are found in TV, film, print, or other media, StigmaBusters speak out and challenge stereotypes. They seek to educate society about the reality of mental illness and the courageous struggles faced by consumers and families every day. Their goal is to break down the barriers of ignorance, prejudice, or unfair discrimination by promoting education, understanding, and respect.Each month, close to 20,000 advocates receive a NAMI StigmaBusters Alert, and it is read by countless others around the world online.

In a candid tale of her own depression, Dr. Elizabeth J. Griffin, MD, a pediatrician tells of her 40-year battle with severe depression, and the stigmatization she fell under. She says “Depression is overwhelming and overpowering, and it crushes its prey…’ Severely depressed persons grow convinced beyond any doubt whatsoever that our families would be better off if we were dead. We believe that only by suicide can we help them salvage whatever remnants of their lives we have not already destroyed, even if we actually have done nothing that would hurt them or anyone else….’ I believed that everyone felt and thought this way to some extent. I once explained some of this to one friend, a compassionate and extremely intelligent physician. He looked at me in amazement and said, “You do know, don’t you, how completely foreign everything you just said is to me?” In fact, learning just that was a real eye-opener for me, “a light-bulb moment.” Read her story  Dr. Griffin has very interesting points to guide people in the process of “how to talk about depression:

  • “…People with depression need someone to speak up when we cannot, especially to explain our illness to our loved ones. Most of us are too frightened and ashamed to talk about it. Unless we learn how to be open about depression, the stigma will remain, and people who need treatment will continue to avoid seeking it.
  • If you have depression, tell someone you can trust and seek professional help. It is available—and it can help. Depression does not have to last forever; you really can get better with time and treatment…’
  • If someone you care about is depressed, tell him you do care, that you love him, and that you want to understand and help. Tell her how important she is to you and what you admire about her. Tell him you want him and need him in your life, and that things will get better. Ask her to hang on until they do. Beg him to promise that he won’t do anything to hurt himself, that he will not commit suicide…’
  • You may save the life of someone you love….”

As mental health providers, we are supposed to be the catalysts of personal growth, soul search, and redemption, we should never give up, labeling, or cast out people who are going through the dark night of the soul, redeeming one person is redeeming the world. Actually, this represents the traditional Jewish principle of Tikkun Olam that is the precept of the Jewish ethical principle that every person is worth saving. The Jewish path of walking through life, is a path of healing. Tikkun olam, the repair of the world, is a macrocosm of the tikkun atzmi, the inner process of healing. Healing, by definition, is the attempt to bring balance to both the inner and external healing processes and that, instead of labeling and pathologizing our clients, should be the role of the clinician. But more about Tikkun Olam in my next post. For now, let’s be a container for those who suffer from depression without judgement or biases, but with the right intervention,  a listening ear, and a compassionate heart.

How to talk about depression
o People with depression need someone to speak up when we cannot, especially to explain our illness to our loved ones. Most of us are too frightened and ashamed to talk about it. Unless we learn how to be open about depression, the stigma will remain, and people who need treatment will continue to avoid seeking it.

o If you have depression, tell someone you can trust and seek professional help. It is available—and it can help. Depression does not have to last forever; you really can get better with time and treatment.

o If someone you care about is depressed, tell him you do care, that you love him, and that you want to understand and help. Tell her how important she is to you and what you admire about her. Tell him you want him and need him in your life, and that things will get better. Ask her to hang on until they do. Beg him to promise that he won’t do anything to hurt himself, that he will not commit suicide.

You may save the life of someone you love.

– See more at: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/suicide/what-depression-does-our-minds-when-it-attacks/page/0/2?GUID=&rememberme=1&ts=22072014#sthash.buAhOPkF.dpuf


Se Habla Español: Native Language in Psychotherapy for Latinas y Latinos

Copyright: Nito500

Copyright: Nito500

Although a high percentage of all human communication is nonverbal and sometimes too much emphasis is placed in the verbal content during the therapy session, having therapy in a non-native language carries certain challenges to the client as well as to the therapist.

In a study conducted  by Gretchen Foley MD and Julie Gentile, MD, they found “…an estimated 60 to 65 percent of interpersonal communication is conveyed via nonverbal behaviors… many nonverbal behaviors are unconscious and may represent a more accurate depiction of a patient’s attitude and emotional state… all nonverbal behavior must be interpreted within context…” for which I think it is important also the mastery of the verbal content. This dual focus, calls for a real understanding of the body language by the clinician but also an understanding of how culture, race, ethnicity express in different “tongues” and nuances.

Aside from the language, family connections are very important, and non-language based integration issues arise. Language in its verbal or non-verbal form is fundamental for psychotherapy, so people have to feel comfortable with the language as it touches emotions. Sometimes if your “hosting” country language is good enough, it can be therapeutic in itself to work through issues pertaining to the “hosting” country.

In the United States the number of Latinos and Latinas is growing exponentially and already in 2010, one in five Americans identified as Hispanic–with cultural ties to Spanish-speaking countries such as Mexico, Cuba and El Salvador. In some areas of the country, such as Texas, Hispanics may outnumber Caucasians by 2035, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. As this population grows, psychologists can expect to see increasing numbers of Latinos in their waiting rooms, classrooms and research labs. We need to close the gap for Latinos y Latinas.

Sadie Dingfelder wrote on the American Psychological Monitor magazine “…for many Hispanics who seek psychotherapy, their first contact with a mental health professional is also their last–50 percent never return to a psychologist after the first session. Caucasians drop out at a rate of about 30 percent, in comparison. Several factors play into this access disparity–including the cost of health care for a disproportionately low-income population … Dingfelder quoted Dr. Elizabeth Fraga, a Latino-focused practitioner and full-time lecturer at Columbia University’s Teachers College, who says”… many Latinos quit therapy simply because they do not feel understood” …some Hispanics are not completely comfortable speaking in English, and sometimes the values of psychotherapy–or the therapist–are antithetical to those of the Hispanic client.” For example, says Fraga, Latino cultures tend to value a family’s health more than that of its individual family members and may view a psychologist’s suggestions for self-care–such as taking a short vacation alone–as selfish….” Read the article

Unless all clinicians gain some familiarity with Latino culture and language or have an interest in becoming familiar with it, it is going to be difficult for Latinos to find people who may help them.

One of the goals of therapy is to create a trusting relationship and healing environment in which our clients can reveal themselves and engage in what is often challenging and hard work. When working with Latino clients, one must come to know and respect the unique expectations that are in part shaped by culture and world view, and integrate this understanding into the therapeutic approach and if we can manage their native language, we could really create a stronger therapeutic alliance and hit the jackpot. Haga una cita: se ha·bla es·pa·ñol


Latinas’ Challenges to Come Out of The Closet

Copyright : Bogdan Ionescu

Copyright : Bogdan Ionescu

In the Latin culture the role of women is sometimes defined narrowly and women are brought up to be “super” moms and dedicated wives. The family pressure to keep a clean home, raise well-mannered children and be fabulous cooks can be a little overwhelming. You can add onto that pressure that to be a good “wife” and “mother” implies being heterosexual, and find the right “husband” not the right wife.

Latinas,  are professionals, blue collar workers, students, artists, and they all face their own struggles, successes, and secrets.  For we Latinas are as diverse, as shallow, and as deep as our dominant-culture counterparts. Our stories of immigration and oppression are gripping, but they are not only stories of discrimination or acculturation to tell, we also have our gender struggle stories to tell. Some are wives and mothers, yet individuals, too and some of us are lesbians and proud of it. Yet our culture and family does not welcome, always, our “coming out of the closet”. Our stories are as wide and as varied as the hues we come in.

Even the Spanish language conspires against those women who called themselves lesbians or bi-sexuals, because most of the counterpart words in Spanish have a negative connotation. Activists at the Human Rights Campaign had written that “…Although “gay” has the same meaning in Spanish as in English, the word “lesbiana” still has negative connotations. Many Latina women who love women, however, are purposely using the word to reclaim it from those who would use it against them…” (Read More)

On another article HRC states “… Although Latina/o Americans come from various cultural backgrounds, many who come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender share similar experiences and challenges. Some, who were raised Roman Catholic, must reconcile themselves with the church’s teachings that acting on one’s homosexuality is sinful. Language differences often make finding resources and support difficult, and a lack of LGBT Latinas/os in media and entertainment perpetuates invisibility. Fortunately, however, anecdotal evidence suggests that a growing number of Latinas/os are coming out…”

Find more resources for Latinas y Latinos “coming out of the closet” on HRC: Guía de Recursos Para Salir Del Clóset

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