Doris Bersing, PhD
Blog

Empowering Women: Unlocking the Past, Embracing the Future in Women’s History Month

There are never enough opportunities to celebrate women, which is why Women’s History Month is so important; celebrating women is crucial, and yes, I know you might think, “another article about women?” and I say, yes, one encore! I am writing about women as a fellow woman, forever connected to the cause. While we should be recognizing and honoring women’s contributions all year round, March provides a special occasion to emphasize their significance in our society.

As someone who is constantly balancing advocating for women’s empowerment and creating a roadmap for aging well, I am fascinated by the resilience of forgotten role models who remind us that there is still work to be done and causes to contribute to. As old age begins to affect me, I find myself reflecting on the subject of older women. What is our place in society? What is our role? What is our responsibility and final vindication? I refuse to associate “old age” with anything negative or meaningless. I reject the idea that it is solely defined as “the declining years,” “senility,” “dotage,” or “senescence.” No, if my age is going to define me, it will be in terms of purpose, fulfillment, and vibrancy. It will be about growth, wisdom, power, and giving back to our community.

When I think about all the women who have inspired me – those I have loved, those who have loved me, those who have shared their stories, and those who have allowed me to witness their journeys – I realize that resilience is a crucial tool for achieving what can be called “successful aging.” The skills we honed during our rebellious years can still guide us on this new journey. As Gloria Steinem once said, “I have faith that with the aging of the baby boomers, that ‘wonderful, rebellious group, will redefined aging but for that they need to get over the hurdle of being terrified about getting old because if we’re fearing aging, we’re losing our greatest revolutionaries.” It is about conquering fear and trailblazing our path ahead. Using skills from the past and gaining awareness is a first step. However, wisdom and personal awareness do not automatically come with age or because of a passing calendar. Personal wisdom requires hard work – it involves introspection, growth, respect, and self-awareness. Achieving balance takes great personal effort, increasing levels of awareness, and an understanding of our own strengths and limitations.

Many women still desire to find a partner, to be protected, supported, and fathered. For some, staying at home and raising children is more important than pursuing a career. While this may be the right decision for some, gender inequality and a patriarchal power structure often prevent women from making an informed choice. Another challenge is that many women who fought for independence and self-sufficiency find themselves alone and unfulfilled, in part because they were unable to find a long-term partner who could live up to their standards of liberation. This has created a divide between strong women and comparatively weak men. Women striving to reclaim their role as wise women have challenged men in their traditional roles as kings and warriors, leading to a backlash from some men. Some lament the loss of the old ways, where men were hunter-warriors and women stayed home to take care of the family. However, every person is unique, and women should be free to choose their own path – whether it is that of a mother, warrior, crone, sage, medicine woman, or ruler; there is room for all of us, with our diverse aspirations and ambitions, in this world.

We require self-reflection and deep introspection in order to transform ourselves and discover our true calling. It is essential to refine our abilities, including resilience and determination. By actively listening to the experiences of older women, we can gain valuable insights into our strength, purpose, living in the present moment, and becoming the catalyst for change. One of my clients, Josephine, an older woman, imparted a significant lesson to me. She serves as living evidence that there is still immense beauty and awe to be found in our later years.even in the most challenging circumstances (Josephine was a resident in an assisted living facility, which is not always seen as a place of positive aging due to the often-rapid decline of its residents). Meet Josephine, here.

Josephine’s accounts of civil rights, equality, and women’s rights in the 1960s and 1970s resonated with my understanding of feminism. Despite not fitting my exact image of a feminist, her narrative sparked thoughts about challenges faced by aging women in a society that doesn’t value them. She showed a shift in the feminist movement from liberation to mentorship, offering opportunities for aging women who can remain active and vibrant, and giving back, even in old age.

Therefore, let us seize the opportunity of celebrating International Women’s Month to tap into the collective wisdom of women and allow it to guide us on a transformative journey of healing and growth. It is crucial for women of all races, gender expressions, sexual orientations, socioeconomic classes, religions, ethnicities, and ages to come together as a united force against the patriarchal idea that our value diminishes as we age. We must also address the unfortunate reality that some of us feel invisible in society.

Copyright NATIONAL WOMEN’S HISTORY ALLIANCE | 2023

In this pursuit, let us seek out our role models, our “Josephine(s)”, who inspire us with their writings, actions, and accomplishments. These role models are the ones we admire and look up to, as they embody the strength and resilience that we aspire to possess. By tapping into our inner crone and embracing her wisdom, we can redefine ourselves after 50, 60, or any age that represents this third and long phase of life. We can become teachers, role models, and sources of inspiration for future generations.

Together, as a diverse group of women, we can challenge societal norms, break free from the constraints imposed by ageism, and create a world where every woman is valued and respected, regardless of her age. Let us celebrate the beauty and wisdom that comes with age, and let it be a testament to the strength and resilience of women throughout history. By doing so, we can pave the way for a more inclusive and empowering future for all women. Are you ready?


The Value of Older Women in Society: Embracing Wisdom and Redefining Roles.

Most of my patients are older adults, vibrant retirees, eager to make the most of their newfound freedom and explore new passions. Others are empty nesters, adjusting to the bittersweet reality of having their children leave home. And then there are the baby boomers, who are facing the challenges of aging with determination and a desire for continued personal growth. As society continues to prioritize youth and marginalize seniors, it is important to recognize the unique value that older women bring to the table. Baby boomer women, who grew up during the feminist movement of the sixties and seventies, have fought for equal rights and challenged negative stereotypes. However, they now find themselves in a world that often overlook their contributions.

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The Challenges of Aging and Remembering the Legacy of the Women’s Movement

As women age, they face unique personal challenges that raise profound questions about their roles in society. The traditional goals of reproduction and child-rearing are no longer applicable, and careers may be in the past. Many older women find themselves in limited identities, such as caring for grandchildren or fulfilling caregiving roles for family members. For those who have spent a lifetime trying to make a difference, these limited roles can be difficult to bear.

Many of them fought the battles undertaken by the women’s  movement of the sixties and seventies and laid the foundation for generations of activists dedicated to equal rights, reproductive freedom, LGBTQ+ rights, anti-ageism, and more. From the civil rights movement to the shelter movement, older women have been influenced by these struggles and the impact of these movements on older women and their social influence in our social fabric cannot be ignored.

We question how the women’s movement has affected women of age. The women who took what they learned as activists in the civil rights movement and applied it to the rampant sexism of the civil-rights and black-power movements – who participated in the first sweeping consciousness-raising process that Bettina Aptheker called “learning to name our oppression” – these women are still too young to have been included in Coming of Age. But that phase of the women’s movement spawned two generations of equal rights, abortion rights, lesbian and gay rights, anti-ageism, and AIDS activists; a devoted, beleaguered army of caretakers of abused women and children in the shelter movement; and labor groups such as the CLUW and Women in the Trades, to name only a few “special interest” groups. Many old women, someplace along the line, have been affected by those struggles. In a youth-oriented society, aging women are often seen as invisible and diminished. The physical signs of aging, such as dry skin and wrinkles, are contrasted with the societal ideals of youth, beauty, vitality, and accomplishment. Jean Shinoda Bolen, a Jungian psychotherapist, aptly stated that becoming an older woman in a youth-oriented patriarchy is to become invisible, a nonentity. The “aging” woman, with her dry skin and wrinkled body, does not represent the pretty, sexy, vital, or accomplished; she is considered to be in her dimmed time. Jungian psychotherapist and author Jean Shinoda Bolen have said, “In a youth-oriented patriarchy, especially, to become an older woman is to become invisible: a nonentity.” Or, as historian Bettina Aptheker said in a public lecture of older people, especially women, “We’re either invisible, or we’re in the way.”This perception raises questions about the future and value of older women in society.

Elderly women today face personal challenges, triggering some profound questions–among them: What is their role as they age? Reproduction is no longer a goal; nor is raising children. If they had a career, it is in the past, or nearly so, and they feel they need something different but what?. Traditional roles for midlife or older women, such as caring for grandchildren or caregiving for a husband or other family member–are still common for women; these limited identities may be difficult to bear for those who spent a lifetime trying to make a difference. Needless to say that some of us, still are battling “those dragons” as Studs Terkel said when dedicating his book, Coming of Age, that we face when dealing with our own  “dark night of the soul”. We perceive this phase, often, as an explosion of a deep sense of meaninglessness. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything, one feels unvalued and drifting without a clear intention.

Then, what’s the future for this woman? What role should aging women play in our society? In a society where ageism and feminism are prevalent, it becomes crucial to address the future of older women. Empowering older women is not just about breaking barriers and changing stereotypes, but also about recognizing their immense value and contributions. As we strive for equality, it is essential to create opportunities that allow aging women to continue making a difference in various spheres of life. By embracing their wisdom, experience, and unique perspectives, society can benefit tremendously from the guidance and mentorship of these trailblazing women. It is time to challenge societal norms and ensure that older women are given the respect and platform they deserve to continue shaping our future.

Embracing Wisdom and Redefining Roles

While society may overlook the value of older women, there is a wealth of wisdom and experience that comes with age. Older women have lived through significant social changes and have valuable insights to offer. Their experiences can serve as a guide for younger generations and contribute to the collective wisdom of society.

Instead of accepting limited identities, older women have the opportunity to redefine their roles in society. They can break free from societal expectations and explore new avenues for personal growth and fulfillment. Mentoring younger individuals, engaging in community activism, pursuing creative endeavors, and advocating for causes they are passionate about are just a few examples of how older women can contribute to society. By reinventing themselves and using their wisdom to create and enrich the next generations of fighters, they could play a crucial role in enhancing our communities and, by the same token, value their background and history.  Creating intergenerational relationships, and connections with younger individuals, older women can pass on their wisdom, share their experiences, and bridge the generation gap. These relationships benefit both parties, as younger individuals gain valuable insights while older women remain engaged and connected to the world around them.

Overcoming Ageism and Unleashing Your Power

Ageism is a pervasive issue that affects older women disproportionately. By challenging ageist stereotypes and advocating for equal treatment, older women can create a more inclusive society. Recognizing the contributions of older women and providing them with opportunities for continued growth and participation will help combat ageism. Older women need to be seen and heard in all aspects of society. Media, advertising, and popular culture should reflect the diversity of women of all ages. By showcasing the accomplishments and stories of older women, society can break free from the narrow focus on youth and celebrate the contributions of all individuals. Representation matters!

Older women have played significant roles in shaping society and continue to have much to offer. It is essential that we recognize their value, embrace their wisdom, and provide opportunities for them to redefine their roles. By challenging ageist stereotypes, fostering intergenerational relationships, and designing new spaces and opportunities for older women to be part of our communities, we can create a more inclusive and equitable society that appreciates the unique contributions of older women. Let us celebrate their accomplishments and ensure that their voices are heard and valued in a space and time where age does not limit one’s potential or worth. By empowering older women, we can collectively work towards a more equitable and progressive society for all.


Ageism and Sexism

We Need A New Paradigm for Old-er Women.

Ageism

I was stunned when Debbie—my 67-yer-old client, who has one Ph.D. in American history and a JD—told me that her contract as full-time faculty at a local law school had not been renewed. She is vivacious, energetic, intelligent, and adored by her students. I asked immediately, why? She has always told me she was on the “retire-at-85” plan and as far as I knew, Academia is supposed to be a world of respect and knowledge; a place where attaining knowledge and wisdom are regarded as the ultimate achievements. Nonetheless, Debbie told me she was forced into retirement! Debbie had spent 25 years of her life as a professor for several graduate and law schools, during which time she had received many awards for research and groundbreaking work. Now, she said “retirement has been forced on me, and my courses have been assigned to young-er faculty members, who are less expensive. For the first time, I have faced ageism as never before, and it is not a theoretical concept, anymore. It is real.” She, too, was shocked.

Yes indeed, ageism –although an old paradigm—is still in full force, current and pervasive permeating all layers of our society. Perhaps it is time to kick this new old paradigm with its ill-fated consequences for our society’s well-being to the curb and embrace a different more optimistic, engaging, and active paradigm of aging: one that does not fear aging but embrace it as a very meaningful and with a great potential phase of life.

Sexism

Like we did not have enough with the ageism in our culture, we also need to face Sexism.  The prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, against women, on the basis of sex, is a fact very well known on all fronts of society and affects women of all walks of life. Instances of sexism are experienced by our mothers, sisters, daughters, granddaughters, and all women and girls around the world. It is one of those phenomena would like to have the exclusivity of it but it is not like that. It is pervasive and perverse all around the world.

Sexism is based on the prejudice and extensive generalization that there is something faulty in women and it continues to impede women from their rights to grow and thrive in our society. Perhaps we are not as pretty and firm as we were when young-er but seasoned –or spicy, hot women—had fought for equality, diversity, had raised their self-esteem, run for public office. They have shaved off their internalized ageism and are ready to venture into new characters, created new connections, and created a new wave of accomplished women who give us the inspiration we need to live as first-class citizens and make our golden years shine and count, and do what needs to be done.

Not all of us get to that place and nevertheless, it is worth trying. A place where we can branch out, revolt, or go quietly happily ever after about life. Whatever works for you do it with gusto! Let’s this new woman be at the top of the hill and not over the hill. She can change her image of a raggedy crone to the one of mentor. to be proud and loud.

As many of us who are undertaking the journey through the uncharted land, we become pioneers with no maps but following our moral compass to be the best we can be. Being the eternal optimistic and positive thinker, she is, at 80 Ms. Steinem finds herself more productive and at peace than ever.  “…A dwindling libido, she theorized, can be a terrific advantage: “The brain cells that used to be obsessed are now free for all kinds of great things…” 


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