Doris Bersing, PhD
Blog

Empowering Women: Unlocking the Past, Embracing the Future in Women’s History Month

There are never enough opportunities to celebrate women, which is why Women’s History Month is so important; celebrating women is crucial, and yes, I know you might think, “another article about women?” and I say, yes, one encore! I am writing about women as a fellow woman, forever connected to the cause. While we should be recognizing and honoring women’s contributions all year round, March provides a special occasion to emphasize their significance in our society.

As someone who is constantly balancing advocating for women’s empowerment and creating a roadmap for aging well, I am fascinated by the resilience of forgotten role models who remind us that there is still work to be done and causes to contribute to. As old age begins to affect me, I find myself reflecting on the subject of older women. What is our place in society? What is our role? What is our responsibility and final vindication? I refuse to associate “old age” with anything negative or meaningless. I reject the idea that it is solely defined as “the declining years,” “senility,” “dotage,” or “senescence.” No, if my age is going to define me, it will be in terms of purpose, fulfillment, and vibrancy. It will be about growth, wisdom, power, and giving back to our community.

When I think about all the women who have inspired me – those I have loved, those who have loved me, those who have shared their stories, and those who have allowed me to witness their journeys – I realize that resilience is a crucial tool for achieving what can be called “successful aging.” The skills we honed during our rebellious years can still guide us on this new journey. As Gloria Steinem once said, “I have faith that with the aging of the baby boomers, that ‘wonderful, rebellious group, will redefined aging but for that they need to get over the hurdle of being terrified about getting old because if we’re fearing aging, we’re losing our greatest revolutionaries.” It is about conquering fear and trailblazing our path ahead. Using skills from the past and gaining awareness is a first step. However, wisdom and personal awareness do not automatically come with age or because of a passing calendar. Personal wisdom requires hard work – it involves introspection, growth, respect, and self-awareness. Achieving balance takes great personal effort, increasing levels of awareness, and an understanding of our own strengths and limitations.

Many women still desire to find a partner, to be protected, supported, and fathered. For some, staying at home and raising children is more important than pursuing a career. While this may be the right decision for some, gender inequality and a patriarchal power structure often prevent women from making an informed choice. Another challenge is that many women who fought for independence and self-sufficiency find themselves alone and unfulfilled, in part because they were unable to find a long-term partner who could live up to their standards of liberation. This has created a divide between strong women and comparatively weak men. Women striving to reclaim their role as wise women have challenged men in their traditional roles as kings and warriors, leading to a backlash from some men. Some lament the loss of the old ways, where men were hunter-warriors and women stayed home to take care of the family. However, every person is unique, and women should be free to choose their own path – whether it is that of a mother, warrior, crone, sage, medicine woman, or ruler; there is room for all of us, with our diverse aspirations and ambitions, in this world.

We require self-reflection and deep introspection in order to transform ourselves and discover our true calling. It is essential to refine our abilities, including resilience and determination. By actively listening to the experiences of older women, we can gain valuable insights into our strength, purpose, living in the present moment, and becoming the catalyst for change. One of my clients, Josephine, an older woman, imparted a significant lesson to me. She serves as living evidence that there is still immense beauty and awe to be found in our later years.even in the most challenging circumstances (Josephine was a resident in an assisted living facility, which is not always seen as a place of positive aging due to the often-rapid decline of its residents). Meet Josephine, here.

Josephine’s accounts of civil rights, equality, and women’s rights in the 1960s and 1970s resonated with my understanding of feminism. Despite not fitting my exact image of a feminist, her narrative sparked thoughts about challenges faced by aging women in a society that doesn’t value them. She showed a shift in the feminist movement from liberation to mentorship, offering opportunities for aging women who can remain active and vibrant, and giving back, even in old age.

Therefore, let us seize the opportunity of celebrating International Women’s Month to tap into the collective wisdom of women and allow it to guide us on a transformative journey of healing and growth. It is crucial for women of all races, gender expressions, sexual orientations, socioeconomic classes, religions, ethnicities, and ages to come together as a united force against the patriarchal idea that our value diminishes as we age. We must also address the unfortunate reality that some of us feel invisible in society.

Copyright NATIONAL WOMEN’S HISTORY ALLIANCE | 2023

In this pursuit, let us seek out our role models, our “Josephine(s)”, who inspire us with their writings, actions, and accomplishments. These role models are the ones we admire and look up to, as they embody the strength and resilience that we aspire to possess. By tapping into our inner crone and embracing her wisdom, we can redefine ourselves after 50, 60, or any age that represents this third and long phase of life. We can become teachers, role models, and sources of inspiration for future generations.

Together, as a diverse group of women, we can challenge societal norms, break free from the constraints imposed by ageism, and create a world where every woman is valued and respected, regardless of her age. Let us celebrate the beauty and wisdom that comes with age, and let it be a testament to the strength and resilience of women throughout history. By doing so, we can pave the way for a more inclusive and empowering future for all women. Are you ready?


Ageism and Sexism

We Need A New Paradigm for Old-er Women.

Ageism

I was stunned when Debbie—my 67-yer-old client, who has one Ph.D. in American history and a JD—told me that her contract as full-time faculty at a local law school had not been renewed. She is vivacious, energetic, intelligent, and adored by her students. I asked immediately, why? She has always told me she was on the “retire-at-85” plan and as far as I knew, Academia is supposed to be a world of respect and knowledge; a place where attaining knowledge and wisdom are regarded as the ultimate achievements. Nonetheless, Debbie told me she was forced into retirement! Debbie had spent 25 years of her life as a professor for several graduate and law schools, during which time she had received many awards for research and groundbreaking work. Now, she said “retirement has been forced on me, and my courses have been assigned to young-er faculty members, who are less expensive. For the first time, I have faced ageism as never before, and it is not a theoretical concept, anymore. It is real.” She, too, was shocked.

Yes indeed, ageism –although an old paradigm—is still in full force, current and pervasive permeating all layers of our society. Perhaps it is time to kick this new old paradigm with its ill-fated consequences for our society’s well-being to the curb and embrace a different more optimistic, engaging, and active paradigm of aging: one that does not fear aging but embrace it as a very meaningful and with a great potential phase of life.

Sexism

Like we did not have enough with the ageism in our culture, we also need to face Sexism.  The prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, against women, on the basis of sex, is a fact very well known on all fronts of society and affects women of all walks of life. Instances of sexism are experienced by our mothers, sisters, daughters, granddaughters, and all women and girls around the world. It is one of those phenomena would like to have the exclusivity of it but it is not like that. It is pervasive and perverse all around the world.

Sexism is based on the prejudice and extensive generalization that there is something faulty in women and it continues to impede women from their rights to grow and thrive in our society. Perhaps we are not as pretty and firm as we were when young-er but seasoned –or spicy, hot women—had fought for equality, diversity, had raised their self-esteem, run for public office. They have shaved off their internalized ageism and are ready to venture into new characters, created new connections, and created a new wave of accomplished women who give us the inspiration we need to live as first-class citizens and make our golden years shine and count, and do what needs to be done.

Not all of us get to that place and nevertheless, it is worth trying. A place where we can branch out, revolt, or go quietly happily ever after about life. Whatever works for you do it with gusto! Let’s this new woman be at the top of the hill and not over the hill. She can change her image of a raggedy crone to the one of mentor. to be proud and loud.

As many of us who are undertaking the journey through the uncharted land, we become pioneers with no maps but following our moral compass to be the best we can be. Being the eternal optimistic and positive thinker, she is, at 80 Ms. Steinem finds herself more productive and at peace than ever.  “…A dwindling libido, she theorized, can be a terrific advantage: “The brain cells that used to be obsessed are now free for all kinds of great things…” 


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